The Parenting Decision That Will Define Your Child's Future

Saturday, my 12-year-old grandson (not the kid in the photo) showed me how he'd used my latest YouTube video to create better AI prompts for his small laser cutting business. He was excited to share what he'd learned about using AI as a "creativity partner" rather than a replacement for his own design work. As we sat in the dance recital waiting for his sister's performance, I watched him demonstrate his AI prompt technique with the confidence of someone who'd figured out a complex system.

Meanwhile, his 9-year-old sister immediately wants to jump to AI whenever she needs 3D models of animals and figurines for my 3D printer. I worry she's getting pulled into "AI first" thinking—reaching for the tool before trying to solve problems on her own.

It struck me that both kids are facing decisions about technology that their parents never had to make. And their parents—my adult children—are making choices about AI that will shape how their kids think, create, and solve problems for the rest of their lives.

After 30 years of watching Fortune 100 teams make technology adoption decisions, I thought I understood the stakes. But as someone who helped homeschool three kids through their education and now watches five grandkids navigate this new world, I'm realizing this choice is more complex than any boardroom decision I've faced.

Looking Back: Our Technology Choices in 1987

We didn't set out to homeschool when our oldest daughter wanted to learn to read in 1987. We just didn't know we were starting down a path that would define our family for the next two decades. Living in Silicon Valley, we made a decision that we could do better than the local school systems in preparing our kids for a rapidly changing world.

It wasn't for everyone—homeschooling is a complete family lifestyle choice. But we were convinced that the world our children would enter would be fundamentally different from ours.

When the internet arrived, we made another deliberate choice. We took a cautious approach. All computers had to be in the main family room, where anyone could see what everyone else was doing. I still remember the battles over getting time on the PC when we had just one phone line for AOL access.

Later, we became the first family in our rural Virginia area to have high-speed broadband, using a special 6 GHz microwave link from our small farm to a tower to get fiber access. We were always early adopters, but with careful thought behind each decision.

Those technology choices weren't random. We had a framework: understand the tool, establish clear purposes, and maintain family oversight. Looking back, those decisions helped shape how our three kids approach technology today as adults.

The Decision Framework That Really Matters

Now our kids are the parents facing these choices. And frankly, the stakes feel higher.

In corporate innovation, we call this the "adoption timing decision"—when do you embrace disruptive technology versus protecting against its risks? The difference with parenting decisions is that they compound over the years and shape developing minds in ways that are much harder to reverse than changing business software.

Here's what 30 years of technology decisions taught me about frameworks that actually work:

First, what problem are we really solving? Is this about efficiency, keeping up with other families, or genuine learning enhancement? Too many parents are making AI decisions based on competitive pressure rather than clear educational goals.

Second, what are we risking? Not just screen time, but thinking patterns. When kids can get polished homework done in minutes using AI, what cognitive muscles aren't they building? My grandson is impressive in how he uses AI for his business, but I also watch his sister reach for it before trying to solve design problems independently. There's a difference between using AI as a tool after you understand the fundamentals and using it as a shortcut to avoid learning those fundamentals in the first place.

Third, how will we know if it's working? What does success look like in six months? Two years? What warning signs will we watch for, and when will we course-correct? This is something I explore in detail in this week's video—the specific signs that tell you whether AI is helping or hindering your child's development.

The Generational Shift I'm Watching

My five grandkids, ages 8 to 13, are split between homeschool and public school—their parents have made different educational choices that work for their families. Some parents view AI as a means of preparing for the future. Others worry about protecting foundational skills. Most are somewhere in between, making decisions by drift rather than design.

What's fascinating is watching my 12-year-old grandson process my YouTube videos. He listens to each one, then comes to me with questions. Last week, it was about the difference between using AI as a creativity partner versus letting it replace his own thinking. He's developing his own framework for when to use these tools in his laser cutting business and when to rely on his own design capabilities.

His approach reminds me of something we learned in homeschooling: kids who understand the "why" behind decisions make better choices when they're on their own.

His sister, on the other hand, represents the challenge many parents face. She's incredibly creative and eager to make things, but she immediately wants to use AI to generate 3D models rather than learning to design them herself. She's not wrong that AI can produce impressive results quickly, but I worry about what happens to the creative problem-solving muscles she's not building.

What I'm Seeing Work (And What Isn't)

The families that seem most confident about AI aren't the ones that banned it completely or embraced it without limits. They're the ones that treated it like we treated the internet in the 1990s—powerful tool, clear purposes, active oversight.

Here's what's working:

• Families that introduced AI after kids demonstrated strong independent research and thinking skills
• Clear boundaries around when and how AI can be used for projects
• Regular conversations about what the child learned versus what the AI contributed
• Teaching kids to use AI as a thinking partner, not an answer machine

The concerning patterns I'm noticing:

• Kids who can't start creative projects without AI assistance
• Dramatic improvements in work quality that parents celebrate without questioning the development process
• Children losing tolerance for the frustration that comes with genuine learning
• Parents making AI decisions based on what other families are doing rather than their own values

The contrast between my grandson and his sister illustrates this perfectly. He's learned to use AI to enhance skills he's already developed, while she's naturally drawn to AI-generated solutions as her starting point. She's younger and still developing those foundational skills, which gives us the opportunity to help guide that balance.

Different Approaches, Same Challenges

Watching my grandkids navigate this across both homeschool and public school settings has been illuminating. Each approach has advantages and challenges when it comes to AI decisions.

Homeschool families often have more control over technology introduction timing. We can make individual decisions based on each child's development rather than following district-wide policies. We're already comfortable making educational choices outside the mainstream and thinking long-term about learning rather than just getting through this semester.

But homeschool families also carry more individual responsibility for getting technology decisions right, with fewer institutional guidelines to follow.

Public school families face different pressures. Schools are increasingly integrating AI tools into curricula, which means parents have less control over when and how their kids encounter these technologies. But they also benefit from having professional educators who can help navigate these new tools when parents feel less confident about the technology themselves.

Both settings require parents to think carefully about how AI fits into their child's overall development. The key isn't which educational path you've chosen—it's having a clear framework for technology decisions that aligns with your family's values and goals.

My Current Thinking

Based on watching both corporate technology adoption and now family technology choices, here's where I'm landing:

Foundation first. Kids need to develop core research, writing, design, and problem-solving skills before they have unlimited AI access. Not because AI is bad, but because these cognitive foundations will determine how effectively they can use AI throughout their lives.

Purpose-driven introduction. When we do introduce AI, it should be for specific, bounded purposes. My grandson uses it to enhance his existing business skills. His sister needs to first learn basic 3D design before using AI to accelerate her workflow.

Maintain the framework mindset. The most important thing we can teach our kids isn't how to use any particular AI tool, but how to make decisions about new technologies as they emerge. Because this won't be the last disruptive technology they encounter.

In this week's video (to be released 6/4/2025), I walk through a simple assessment you can do with your own kids to determine whether they're ready for AI tools or need more foundation building first. The difference between these two approaches will shape how they think and create for decades.

The Meta-Lesson

Here's what I've learned from both corporate innovation and homeschooling: the specific decisions matter less than teaching decision-making frameworks. The world our grandkids will inherit will have technologies we can't imagine today. But if we teach them how to evaluate new tools, set boundaries, and maintain their core capabilities, they'll be equipped for whatever comes next.

My grandson's excitement about using AI as a creativity partner tells me he's developing that framework thinking. He's not just learning to use a tool—he's learning to think about tools and their proper role in his life and business.

His sister is still learning this balance, and that's okay. She's younger, and part of our job as parents and grandparents is helping kids develop these frameworks gradually.

That might be the most important education any of our kids receive.

What framework are you using for technology adoption decisions in your family? I'd love to hear about your approach in the comments. And if you're interested in how this thinking applies beyond parenting, check out this week's video (to be released on 6/4/2025) where I dive into the research on how AI affects developing creative abilities and share a simple assessment to help you determine your child's readiness for these tools.